Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (Full Version)

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peculiar_lady2 -> Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 9:21:00 AM)

Welcome!!! A few of us were saying that there is a need for a chat style thread for parents to talk about the triumphs and trials of every day life with our kids.

For those not familiar with the chat style of thread, here is how it works. You do not have a specific topic, just chit chat type stuff. If it is a controversial issue or one that may take over the thread, then we ask that you move that to it's own thread or to a thread that already exists on that topic here in the Parenting folder. You do not have to apologize for throwing a curve ball into the conversation...there is no real topic, so please feel free to jump in with your questions or comments as your need arises. Please remember to be courteous and respectful of other posters though (duh!!).

Because baby topics tend to take over, I am specifically making this thread NOT for babies. If you wish to talk about baby issues, and you are a woman (sorry men), then there is a well established Baby Chat thread in the Women's Only: Maternity folder. LINK HERE. Please keep all baby topics in there. If the men want to talk baby talk, feel free to create a Chat thread for baby discussions here and I am sure the women will join in on that one too.

It is hard to set an age on this thread since different kids will hit different milestones at different ages. So instead I will set it by this...after potty training and through teenhood until your child is out on their own. Anything in that range is fair game for chit-chat. Also keep in mind that there are some great folders for Public and Private School Support discussions, and Home Education Support discussions. So if it is related to those topics, please post it in those more appropriate folders.

Thank you everyone for joining in with us as we chit-chat about our kids.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 9:31:29 AM)

[:D]Well, since I started this thread, I guess I can get the conversation going with introductions!!!

I am Sarah. A familiar face around here, and most know me, but I will put about our family anyway for those that might have their head stuck in a hole somewhere...lol.[8D]
My hubby is in the Army, so we have many opportunities for me to "single parent" (sort of). We both try very hard to keep my hubby in the kids lives even if he is on the other side of the world though. It is very hard, but we have some sweet kids that really put up with a lot. Our kids are:
Jake who is 10yo. He loves to help out and is such a sweet boy!!! One day he hopes to have 7 kids, and he just loves to jump in and do whatever whenever his help is needed. He truly is a great older brother!!
Hannah who is 9yo. She is a bit flighty and out there, but some of what she comes up with is just hilarious. She keeps us hopping.
Emma who is 5yo going on 30. LOL. She takes after my mom personality wise and it is hilarious to watch as she gets older. She has the most DRY sense of humor, but she tries to figure out why things are funny for others.
We also have two others (Jackson who is 3yo and Justice who is 20mo), but they are still in the baby stages, so I won't talk of them much in here...mostly in passing.



4lilMonkies -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 10:11:49 AM)

Thanks for the link Sarah.

My oldest two are Zachary 8 years, and Rachael 7 years (my two youngest are Mary almost 23 months, and Veronica 8 months). I'm looking forward to more older kids chat. [:D]



W.O.F. -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 10:30:26 AM)

I am unique...lol

I have 5 children with another one on the way...

My kids are (and yes..these are nicknames):

Angelface, age 19 and in her first year of college 1700 miles away from home

Broomstick, age 16 and a very tall, skinny young man.

Sweetlips, age 10, and a very helpful young lady with quick wit, and tender heart

Dustmop, age 6, a very bright young man who is very strong willed and a champion of all who are underdogs (usually )

Butterbuns, age 5 (as of yesterday)...a very talkative young lady..and very girly.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 10:35:51 AM)

Yay for big kids![:D]

Noah is 10. He is a lot like Sarah's Jake. LOL...they've never met, but they have a lot in common. Noah is super helpful (except for when he's being a stinker!). He loves his siblings, especially his baby-baby sister. He likes to help Daddy and Grandpa fix things, and to build huge machines from K'nex.

Nick is 9. He is our family clown. He loves to have fun, watch sports, and be the center of attention. He's also very creative and loves drawing.

Hannah is 5. She thinks she is the queen of this house, but we are working that. We are also really cracking down on whining lately. She's a very opinionated little lady, and we wouldn't have her any other way.

My other two are still in the baby category...Levi is 3 and working on potty training, and Esther is 18 months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So...what are the joys and advantages of older kids? We all know the bad side...LOL.

I love having kids that are old enough to read to the little ones. They get practice reading out loud and the little kids get loved on.

It's nice to have a kid big enough to run into the store and pick up a couple things, so I don't have to bring everyone in with me. It also makes him walk about 3 feet taller.[;)]

It's great seeing them learn new things, learning ways to appropriately deal with conflict, and just growing up. [:D]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 10:45:58 AM)

quote:

Noah is 10. He is a lot like Sarah's Jake. LOL...they've never met, but they have a lot in common.

I know...that's so funny. I read stuff about your Noah and can sooooooo see my Jake doing the same thing!!

quote:

So...what are the joys and advantages of older kids?

GREAT question to start things rolling along on Donna!!!
I love that I can have a decent conversation without having to explain everything in smaller words so the person I am talking to can understand what I mean.
I also love watching as they learn...as things click. I will tell someone something and months later they will see something else and you can see the light bulb go on almost as they finally figure out what you said. I just love that look!!!

I totally agree about loving having others to read or others to go to the store for small objects. That is just great to have sometimes!!

A few days ago, after the three middle ones were in bed, Jake sat down on the floor with Justice and "played" checkers with him for a while. It was so cute!!! Justice tries so hard to be just like Jake, and Jake really loves and thrives when he is teaching or playing with the younger ones. (HERE is a cute pic!!)

OK..I have a question.
What age do/did you allow your kids to stay home alone? What about to watch others (babysit sibling) while you are gone for a few minutes?



MamaAng -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 11:20:07 AM)

Hi, I'm Angela and have 2 kids.

Derek, who is 11, was an only child for a while till Hannah was born, one week shy of his 10th birthday. Derek is somewhat of a perfectionist, loves to help me and his sister, thrives from encouragement and likes to be funny.

Joys/advantage of older kids ?

I agree with Donna about sending him into a store. I have only done this once, about 2 weeks ago. He offered to go into the store to buy peppers for dinner. He used the self checkout (his favorite way to shop) to weigh and pay for them. [:)]

It is a joy to have him help me occupy his sister while I take care of things around the house. He is really good at helping in the morning before school.

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:



OK..I have a question.
What age do/did you allow your kids to stay home alone? What about to watch others (babysit sibling) while you are gone for a few minutes?


I started letting Derek stay home when he was 10. He was already walking home from the bus stop (2 blocks), and I started letting him stay home alone for 5 min or so. As time progressed, he has done quite well with calling when he arrives home and staying in the house. Fortunately, we have neighbors that he could turn to if needed. Plus, my work is only 4 blocks from our house.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 11:28:29 AM)

Oooh, Noah would love a self check-out! We don't have them around here though.

Noah has been staying home for very short amounts of time, while we are close by. He's been doing this for about 6 months. Just recently, we have left him with the littlest for an hour or two, usually around her nap time. He has been putting her to bed when I am in school, and is great with her. I wouldn't leave any of the other kids with him though. They would fight and get into things.



stampinlady -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 11:44:28 AM)

Great idea for a thread Sarah.

I'm Deb and I'm married with 2 teens; Becky 16 and Tim 15. Both are doing very well in school and are growing spiritually. I think that is what we struggle with right now. It's not their parents religion anymore.[;)] All of what we have taught them up to now is blossoming and you hate to see where you missed.



Room2Grow -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 12:40:36 PM)

Can I just say that I am so irritated with Eleni right now? She LOCKED my phone and has no idea what she did, how she did it and I can not undo it. I have no phone!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! On the up side, when we were working on a Greek map earlier, I asked her what the capital of Greece was and she said....."G." [8|]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 12:51:08 PM)

quote:

On the up side, when we were working on a Greek map earlier, I asked her what the capital of Greece was and she said....."G."

ROFLOL

Does Paul know how to fix your phone? Or maybe call the company and ask them?



W.O.F. -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 12:57:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Room2Grow

Can I just say that I am so irritated with Eleni right now? She LOCKED my phone and has no idea what she did, how she did it and I can not undo it. I have no phone!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRR! On the up side, when we were working on a Greek map earlier, I asked her what the capital of Greece was and she said....."G." [8|]

there should be a request for your security code to unlock it....if you haven't reset it...it is the last four digits of your phone number.....

btdt



Room2Grow -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 12:57:41 PM)

Okay, deep breath- hubby emailed me from work how to reboot our Magic Jack so I was able to call sprint and they led me through a maze of numbers and formulas to reveal the code used to lock my phone. I am now reconnected with the world...

Eleni is 6- she is just.like.me. to a fault- kinda hard looking into a small mirror of yourself and hoping you can help her avoid the same struggles- but she is sweet and helpful most of the time, though current weather conditions are cloudy with a chance of major attitude

Anna is 3- she is a cuddly sweet girl who is a major people pleaser which is both a strength and weakness

Grace is 13 months and you probably won't hear too much about her here...

It is nice that Eleni is getting old enough to actually be helpful to me and also nice that she can read that is nice that she can read to her sister sometimes



evegirl22 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 2:05:59 PM)

This is great. :)

My oldest is Matthew. He is 3 and half, and we are at the stage of terrible 3s. Oh golly, this boy definelty makes my boiler burst [:@] (from Thomas the train, since we watch a lot of that here in our house LOL) but he is an amazing kids, very helpful and willing to please. Its just the age.... does it get better when they turn 4?

and my youngest is Dylan, who is 4 days from being 5 months old. But you wont hear much about him here... just tail-end stories involving Matthew.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 2:12:00 PM)

LOL Jamie. I always say I hated the whiny stage most of all (and for my kids that hit about 3 years old). It does pass though...eventually and with a lot of "I don't understand whine. If you want to talk to me then I will gladly listen" being said. I always love the independence that comes with the 3-4 year old age though!!! I don't have to do as much for them all the time!!



4lilMonkies -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 3:46:05 PM)

I've haven't left the older two home alone for an extended period of time (though if I had to I think they would do okay). However, I have left them with the two babies while I run down to the store (about 4 blocks) to pick up a few quick groceries. They are both very interested in learning how to cook. This morning Rae asked me to teach her how to make eggs. I told her that we could do that, that eggs are easy! Zachary likes to heat things in the microwave, so when I have those evenings where I just don't.want.to.cook, I know they can get themselves a little something.



evegirl22 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 6:33:59 PM)

Oh boy! Our biggest struggle with Matthew right now is not listening. He either back-mouths us, tells us that we are wrong, etc. Its so hard right now, I get frusterated wtih him easy. We have been doing a lot of time-out, and lots of talking trying to get him to understand, and we have even spanked him. Have you guys struggle with this, and what has worked for you? Our episode going on right now as we speak is Matthew being sent to bed because he wouldnt eat his supper, and honestly it does not take almost an hour to eat. [:@][:@][:@]



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 6:43:18 PM)

Jamie, we never make food or meals an issue. If you are hungry, eat what we have served. If you aren't hungry, don't eat. If you don't like what is served, eat it anyway or make yourself a sandwich. I refuse to allow food to become an issue. It's not healthy IMO to teach them to eat when their bodies could be telling them otherwise. We serve a well balanced diet, but if they don't eat a few times it's not going to hurt them. Some days you are hungry and some days you just aren't.

As for backtalk- is he answering you back or is he actually intentionally being rude back to you when you say something?
Do you reinforce what you want to hear back? For example:
mom: "Go do your chore please."
son: "Awww man, do I have to?"
mom: "The proper response is 'Yes Ma'am, and yes, you have to".

Your son is not old enough to write, but we reinforce with words and with writing if mine can't remember something like that. Also our house rules are scripturally based, so we repeat those scriptures all the time.



manda59 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 6:52:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: evegirl22
Our episode going on right now as we speak is Matthew being sent to bed because he wouldnt eat his supper, and honestly it does not take almost an hour to eat.



Jamie, could I just ask why it was so important to you that Matthew ate his supper?

I agree with Sarah, it's honestly not good to make food/meals an issue; it can set the scene for a number of problems later on.

I have to say I LOVED the back-chat stage!! Call me strange if you like [:D] but I just got a real buzz out of them becoming their own people and discovering their own will, their own capacity to choose. When you say he doesn't listen, what kind of things do you mean - can you think of any examples?



manda59 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 7:11:13 PM)

I'm Manda and I have two children: Jonathan (20) and Sarah (16).

They were (are!) both strong-willed - and I honestly would not have wanted them to be any other way. I loved it when they started asserting themselves, misbehaving and basically just becoming their own little person.

Jonathan and Sarah both started school at four and a half, and have gone all the way through in the State school (your public school) system. Jonathan is at University doing a degree in Education Studies (he's in his final year). The University is only 45 mins' drive away, so he lives at home and commutes, just staying overnight up there once a week. Sarah is in her penultimate year at High School, hoping to go to University to do a degree in English or Journalism.

Jonathan made a personal commitment to Christ, of his own volition, in the middle of an ordinary evening at home, when he was 9, and was baptised when he was 16. Sarah has believed since she was very very young, but it all became much more personal and living for her when she was 13. She's not been baptised yet, but I am thinking it will be within the next year or two.



bolt. -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 7:23:23 PM)

I'm Pam.

I have one daughter that qualifies for this thread (J,5). She's fun and bright, and almost like a little friend to me... sometimes. And one that is younger and not yet potty trained.

It's funny that you chose that potty-training point to differentiate this thread. At my MOPS group we have a running joke about celebrating "fecal freedom day" -- the day you finish potty training your youngest child, and may never have to deal with fecal matter (poop) other than your own again (unless you have another baby). Someday my day will come!

We've been working on morning routine with J, because she is quite the doddle-puss (translation: she gets distracted and takes forever to do anything).

Today I set the timer for an hour and put a mini chocolate bar in a bag on our front door knob (on the outside). I told her that if she had all her stuff done and gear on, and the door open by the time the thing beeped, she could have the treat. She was hurrying with her snow pants when it beeped, so she didn't get to eat it, and she was upset. So, did that flop, or might it work over the course of a few days?



manda59 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 7:47:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bolt.
Today I set the timer for an hour and put a mini chocolate bar in a bag on our front door knob (on the outside). I told her that if she had all her stuff done and gear on, and the door open by the time the thing beeped, she could have the treat. She was hurrying with her snow pants when it beeped, so she didn't get to eat it, and she was upset. So, did that flop, or might it work over the course of a few days?



I can't say whether or not that flopped with your dd, but it would have been way too stressful and upsetting for either of my two at that age, where they would have had no concept of what an hour felt like and therefore would not have been able to pace themselves, and where they would have been so so upset to have "failed" and missed out. With mine at that age, I set mini targets for individual tasks rather than just one for the whole thing. And no rewards except being told "well done".



PrincessDonna -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 10:44:23 PM)

Pam, it wouldn't work with my 5 year old...but you know your kiddo better than anyone else. I'd try it one more time if you think it'll work, and if it doesn't, just drop it without a word. My kids tend to need to be stood over and told each little step of getting ready or they dawdle and forget what they were supposed to be doing in the first place. We do a lot of repeating.[8|]

Hannah got her ears pierced tonight. My sister and I took her on a surprised adventure...she loved it! Too funny I have one kid (Noah) who has to know every detail of life days ahead of time and one who just loves surprises.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 11:04:13 PM)

quote:

It's funny that you chose that potty-training point to differentiate this thread.

I chose that because the Baby Chat thread (in the WO folder) goes through that milestone.

quote:

At my MOPS group we have a running joke about celebrating "fecal freedom day" -- the day you finish potty training your youngest child, and may never have to deal with fecal matter (poop) other than your own again (unless you have another baby). Someday my day will come!

LOL....it is a great day isn't it!!!

quote:

Hannah got her ears pierced tonight.

YAY for Hannah!!!!!

quote:

Too funny I have one kid (Noah) who has to know every detail of life days ahead of time and one who just loves surprises.

ROFLOL. I TOTALLY understand!!! Jake can not stand to not know something...he can't sleep well if he doesn't know everything. Emma likes to plan, but doesn't have to. Hannah is a fly by the seat of her pants kind of person and LOVES surprises...lol.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Chit Chat: Parenting Triumphs and Trials (3/2/2010 11:24:10 PM)

Oh, and I am totally having a party on "fecal freedom day"!!!! You're all invited.[:D]



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